A Journey

I am an educated and licensed RN. However, It has been awhile since I held a working position as a nurse. After my first daughter was born in 2011, I knew I wanted to stay at home with her. She is how 7 years old. It wasn’t until my 3rd daughter was born in 2016 that I started staying at home. During those 4 years of being a working mom, the stress of nursing and being a wife and mother felt so crushing. The needs and expectations of the patients, doctors, and managers were constantly increasing. The needs at home were increasing with each person we added to our family. By 2016, my love for the profession and for caring/treating people was drained. I believe God led me here because I needed to work on my own health (mental and physical).

Staying at home with my children after working for 8 years was quite the transition. I would love to say “staying at home made all of my problems better” but with most healing things typically get worse before they get better. I didn’t know what to do, how to do it, what was next. I was lost. I was anxious. The days were long. I filled them with activities to keep the girls busy and entertained. I felt even more crushing stress than when I was working, but I for sure was going to pretend like I had it all together. “Fake till you make it.”

And then, one afternoon in the summer of 2017, I had an encounter with a young girl at the mall. I was reminded of God’s provision. Of his unwavering love for me. ME this anxious, stressed, controlling mom who was pretending to have it all together. Pretending to have “momming” and “adulting” all figured out. God knew the truth about me. God knew what I needed the whole time.

For the next 9 months, I started making changes to the way I was living. Instead of watching TV, I was reading. Instead of sleeping in, I was getting up early. I began to see life as more than a “make it through the day.” And that “fake it till you make it” is a terrible way to live. I was reading about God’s promises. The promise of gifts. The promise of abundance. Provision. Love. Protection.

How does all of this fit together in my life?

Fast forward to Spring 2018, a friend from church asked if I wanted to join her fitness group. I maybe hesitated for a minute. I wanted to do it. Not because I thought I was fat or anything. More because being a nurse I knew what I was slowly doing to my body by not treating it well. I want to be strong. I want to be healthy for as long as God allows. And if something comes into my life that changes my health, I want to be in the best health possible to fight or with-stand whatever it is.

The group started in May. By June, I was seeing results. I was changing physically and mentally. I could see a glimmer of who I wanted to be. I began to remember the dreams I had as young nurse, wanting to help people. That excitement made me want to share what I learned with everyone.

Patient education has ALWAYS been my favorite part of nursing. I am from the generation “the more you know” slogan from Saturday morning TV. I believe and hope that knowledge empowers us to do better and to be better.

-Melissa

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