We Get to Choose

A regular conversation occurring recently has been discussing the fact that we get to choose our reactions. We don’t get to choose the circumstance or what the another person did to us, but we do get to choose how we react to the circumstance or the person.

I would love to say this is my wisdom coming through in the beautiful teaching of my daughters. But that would not be completely truthful. Recently I have been feeling anxious resulting in my the need to be in control. So many things have changed in the last several months after we decided to sell our home of 11 years.

My reaction to the move has been to try force life to move on as it was, but in a different location. In my desire to control, I have been attempting to make routine of our days. Every day planned and set. Every person planned, set, and ready. Like a little family of dolls ready and willing to be perfectly placed every moment.

The reality is I have 3 strong-willed children who completely understand that it is their job as to children to push on every boundary to truly get a good sense of where that boundary line is. They are humans, not dolls. When someone, even their mother, is trying to place impossible expectations on them a power struggle will be the result.

“The best way to lose control is to try to control everything.” Craig Groshel

The more control I lose, the more I attempt to seek control. I choose to become very focused on schedules and time. My anxiety inevitably increases and then the “blow up” occurs. It might sound like I have experienced this cycle a time or two before, because I have.

It doesn’t get easier, but I will say I have become quicker to realize the cycle and get out of it. I have found this by coming to the realization that I get to chose my reactions. I get to work through the process of change, hard-ship, pain, disappointment. Not by pretending its not there. When I pretend it’s not there, that is the problem I am trying to stop the feelings or change the situation in order to prove I am still in control.

But I already told you, I am not in control, my children like to remind me of that daily. My other choice is to feel, talk about, and experience the circumstance. In this, I get a better understanding of what is actually going on. I get to be real. I get a chance to be vulnerable with those I am close with. I get to experience community in the best way. I get a chance to see God show up in amazing ways. 

We don’t get to control all the parts of our life but we do get to chose how we react to the circumstances. I don’t say this in a “Pollyanna”  way. Circumstances happen in our lives beyond our control, but it is what we do with those circumstances that determines the direction of our lives. We cannot control others but we can control our reactions. We can pretend or we can truly live. 

white ceramic bowl beside baked bread
Photo by Deeana Garcia on Pexels.com

 

Banana Blueberry Muffins

  • 2 ripe bananas
  • 2 large Eggs
  • 1 TBSP grass-fed Butter
  • 1 1/2 cups almond flour
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1 dash Himalayan Sea Salt
  • 1/2 cup blueberries

Pre-heat oven 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Spray muffin pan with cooking spray or with baking liners.

Set blueberries aside to add last.

Mash 2 ripe bananas in a bowl. Once mashed add 2 eggs. Melt butter in microwave. Add butter to bowl with bananas and eggs, mix well.

Combine dry ingredients. Mix well.

Add dry ingredients to banana mixture. Mix until well blended.

Pour batter into muffin cups. Divide evenly. This will make approximately 8-9 regular size muffins or 16-18 mini muffins.

Once batter is in muffin pan, add blueberries by using you fingers and placing blueberries into batter. (This allows for even distribution of blueberries in the muffins. If this is not important to you, you can add blueberries to batter before putting into muffin pan)

Place muffin pan in oven for 18-20 minutes for a regular size muffins , 12-15 min for mini-muffins or until golden brown and pass the toothpick test.

Enjoy.

-Melissa

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