Conversations circle around me with key phrases that cause me to pay attention.
“Todays calories don’t count”
“I am not eating”
“I can’t eat that because it goes straight to my thighs”
or the counter phrases
“I don’t even care”
“I deserve it”
“I will never lose the weight”
I pay attention to these phrases because I can hear the sadness behind the words. Although the words are not said, the cries of heart are saying “I am not enough.” Whichever side of the fence you are on. Both are forms of punishment.
“Today’s calories don’t count” sounds like a victory. But will that victory hold true tomorrow when you are restricting your intake because of the “don’t count calories?”
“I deserve it” again sounds like a reward, but what did you put yourself through that you deserve to “treat” yourself with foods that will cause you to feel bloated, achy, cramping, lethargic.
I have said all of these phrases. I have felt that longing to be enough. I have punished my self mentally for the good vs. bad behavior I put on my eating. I am right there with you.
But I want you to also know that food can be food. A means for survival. We cannot live without food. But food was never meant to hold such emotional attachment to our enoughness. In the Bible we see food used as a way to connect with those around you. A way to celebrate or mourn. A provision from God. But not as punishment like we so often see it used against ourselves today.
In this 21st century size is the battle. It has become a master that has enslaved so many of us. If you don’t fit into this size category you are unworthy. If you don’t look exactly like this is a swimsuit then you should not be wearing a swimsuit. Hogwash!
Guess what! It is not about the size. The size is an outcome, and that outcome will continue to move on you. Because we see our deep, hidden parts; the ones that actually need the attention. However the distraction of our size prevents us from doing the work that will cause us to heal and grow. You will get to that size and realize that outcome brought you know no more happiness or enoughness than being larger than that size.
There are real health concerns for being overweight but I wonder if we were to take care of those deep, hidden parts if our weight would still be an issue? Maybe, the metabolic health crisis of the 20th and 21st century would be a pandemic of the past.
We don’t have to be miserable to survive but it does appear clear that the correct work needs to be done. Food as a master or distractor is disasterous as proven by the health of our nation. Over the next several weeks we are going to discuss in more detail how to break free from the captivity of food. Check back or sign up to receive email notifications.
-Melissa
An Invitation 