I am an educated and licensed Registered Nurse (RN). However, It has been awhile since I held a working position as a nurse. After my first daughter was born in 2011, I knew I wanted to stay at home with her. It wasn’t until my 3rd daughter was born in 2016 that I started staying at home. During those 4 years of being a working mom, the stress of nursing and being a wife and mother felt crushing. The needs and expectations of the patients, doctors, and managers were increasing. The needs at home increased with each person we added to our family. By 2016, my love for the profession and for caring/treating people was drained.

Staying at home with my children after working for 8 years was quite the transition. I would love to say “staying at home made all of my problems better” but as with most healing, the situation becomes more painful before healing begins.

I fell in the trap of comparing my life to others. I was anxious. I was unhappy. But this is what I wanted for so long, why was it not filling me? “Fake it till you make it” became my mantra. It was mostly fake.

In the summer of 2017, I experienced God like I had never experienced him before. I was reminded of God’s provision. Of his unwavering love for me. ME this anxious, stressed, controlling mom who was pretending to have it all together. Pretending to have “momming” and “adulting” all figured out. God knew the truth about me. God knew what I needed the whole time. He met me right where I was.

For the next 9 months, I started making changes to the way I was living. Instead of watching TV, I was reading. Instead of sleeping in, I was getting up early. I began to see life had more to offer than a “make it through the day.” And that “fake it till you make it” is a terrible way to live. I was reading about God’s promises. The promise of gifts. The promise of abundance. Provision. Love. Protection. I wanted to experience ALL OF IT for myself!

My mental wellness improved as my spiritual wellness improved. My thoughts were more positive. I was able to determine truth from the lies I was telling myself. I could express gratitude. I allowed myself to drop the act of “having it all together” and the lie of “It all depends on me.”

Changes in my physical health were the next natural step for me in working toward a full life of wellness. It was springtime, the strength I have gained in my mental wellness along with the good feels of the sunshine gave me the confidence to purse my physical health. I started exercising and eating a clean-balanced diet. Everyday was an effort, but as a nurse I knew I had been neglecting the physical needs of my body for too long. Each day I get older and I understand what I am slowly doing to my body when I am inactive and under-nourishing it with the food I am choosing.

I want to be strong. I want to be healthy for as long as God allows. God has given me much responsibility with a husband, 3 daughters, 4 parents, and many other family members, friends, acquaintances. He has also allowed me the knowledge, experience, and responsibility of being an RN.

Patient education has ALWAYS been my favorite part of nursing. I believe God brought me through this time to share with you all that I have learned from education and my own life experience. Also, what I am continuing to learn. I do not have this all figured out, but I have experienced Freedom in Wellness. And I will share how my intentions in daily decisions moves my life toward possibilities.

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