Allowed to be Extra

For me the action was cooking and adding the “extra” to the meals. By doing this I am fighting the lies of worthlessness by showing myself I am worth the time. I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed quality.

Chains No More

“Wow! You are really know how to care for yourself.” The sarcastic thought roams in my head after I finished my 5th slice of pizza. I quickly put up defenses to counter my poor eating choices.
“I will eat less and add extra exercise tomorrow.”

I can hear the chains clinging.

Stuck in the Middle

The things that are the best for me are often the things I have to will myself to do. Exercising, eating well, spending time with God, practicing gratitude; are all things that have positive results on my life but without intentional decisions I would quit in the middle every single time. We do not control…… Continue reading Stuck in the Middle

New (Kind-of) Normal

Life is in a constant state of change, although it feels more so recently. That means we are constantly making adjustments in one way or another. The question is are you going to spend your time romanticizing about the “good ol’ days” or are you going to be present in the moment attempting to make progress in the situation you have been given? You have a choice.

Certainty in Uncertainty

“Is this for real?” “Wait! What? I don’t understand? Everything was fine, now it’s not?” I have heard these questions asked many times before, however I am usually the one providing reassurance and education. As a nurse, I was asked similar questions by patients and family members several times a day. Being the caregiver, you…… Continue reading Certainty in Uncertainty

I am Mom

I am mom. I have this idea in my head that my kids should listen and respect every word I say, and trust that I know what is best for them. But my girls are challengers when it comes to my direction and advice. The details they request from my simple instruction can be like…… Continue reading I am Mom

Made to Move

As the cool down portion of the workout begins, I am filled with gratitude for another reason to think positively of myself. And these thoughts are not related to my size or the way I look. My thoughts are of who I am as a human. My heart rate is up increasing the blood flow to my brain and the steady movement of my body allows by mind to slow. I am able decipher the difference between truth and lies. My thinking is clearer. I notice every muscle’s action and counteraction as I stretch. Movement is intentional. Every breath is deliberate. Filling my lungs with air, followed by exhaling as I stretch the muscle further. The discomfort and tightness I felt before the workout are absent. My muscles are fatigued from the exercises but are ready for the day.

Put Exercise in its Place

A billion dollar industry screams at us that we aren’t doing enough. That we are fat because we are not clocking the hours sweating. The the amount of energy exerted isn’t enough. That we aren’t doing enough. That we aren’t enough, plain and simple. As I have mentioned before, I was one of those believers…… Continue reading Put Exercise in its Place

Starting Again

I have been guilty of being one of those people on social media who post “Are you tried of starting again? Then stop quitting.” The statement was meant to encourage people to be intentional about their choices, take responsibility, and to show up for their lives. However, being on this side of starting again- it…… Continue reading Starting Again

Master Food: The Escape

Emotions are unsettling. There are times when I would rather not feel emotions at all. The unpredictability causes more emotions. Why can’t I feel only peace and harmony at all times? (If you are into the Enneagram, can you guess what number I am?) Doesn’t that sound amazing? No conflict. No sadness. But in turn…… Continue reading Master Food: The Escape

Master Food

Conversations circle around me with key phrases that cause me to pay attention. “Todays calories don’t count” “I am not eating” “I can’t eat that because it goes straight to my thighs” or the counter phrases “I don’t even care””I deserve it””I will never lose the weight” I pay attention to these phrases because I…… Continue reading Master Food